“And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (KJV)
Jesus begins with three simple words: have faith in God. Before He speaks about mountains moving or prayers being answered, He points us to the One we are praying to. Prayer does not start with our requests. It starts with God.
That is why prayer life is not a ritual, a duty, or a list of needs. Prayer life is about building a relationship with God. Like any relationship, it can grow strong, or it can slowly weaken and die. In this message, we looked at four things that quietly kill a prayer life, so that we can recognize them and turn back.
1. Trusting in quality over quantity
Many of us believe that a short, well-worded prayer is enough. We say a quick prayer in the morning, bless our food, and assume all is well because the words were good. But a relationship is not built on a few polished sentences. It is built on time.
Think of any friendship or marriage: a few kind words once a week cannot keep it alive. God does not need long speeches, but He does desire our presence. Jesus Himself “continued all night in prayer to God” (Luke 6:12). The early church “continued steadfastly” in prayer (Acts 2:42), and Paul tells us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
When we trust in the quality of our words instead of giving God our time, prayer becomes a performance instead of a relationship. Make room to linger in His presence, to wait, to listen, and to simply be with Him.
2. Neglecting the weight of discernment
Prayer is not only talking to God. It is also listening and understanding what He is saying. When we neglect discernment, we pray without knowing God’s will, and we wonder why our prayers seem unanswered.
James puts it plainly: “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss” (James 4:3). But John gives us confidence: “if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us” (1 John 5:14). Discernment is what helps us know His will. Paul said, “I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also” (1 Corinthians 14:15).
Discernment carries weight. It helps us tell the difference between our own desires and God’s leading, between the urgent and the important, between what looks good and what is truly from God. Ask the Holy Spirit to sharpen your discernment, spend time in the Word so you can recognize His voice, and give God space to speak before you rush to the next request.
3. Feeding the flesh while praying in the Spirit
“For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Galatians 6:8 (KJV)
We cannot pray in the Spirit on Sunday and feed the flesh all week and expect a strong prayer life. What we sow is what grows. If we feed the flesh through what we watch, what we listen to, how we speak, and the habits we keep, the flesh grows strong, and our hunger for God grows weak.
Paul warns that “the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh” (Galatians 5:17). The Psalmist adds: “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me” (Psalm 66:18). The answer is not to stop praying until we are perfect, but to choose daily what we will feed. “Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).
Sow to the Spirit: feed on the Word, worship, keep good company, and guard your heart. A spirit that is well fed will find prayer a delight, not a struggle.
4. Allowing unresolved offense and bitterness to remain
Notice how our key text ends. Right after teaching about faith that moves mountains, Jesus says: “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any” (Mark 11:25). Faith and forgiveness belong together. A heart holding on to offense cannot pray freely.
Unresolved offense does not stay small. Hebrews warns us to watch out “lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you” (Hebrews 12:15). Bitterness steals our peace, blocks our fellowship with God, and poisons our relationships. Jesus even taught that if we remember someone has something against us, we should first go and be reconciled, then come and offer our gift (Matthew 5:23–24).
Forgiveness is not pretending the hurt did not happen. It is choosing to release the person to God, just as God has released us. “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). Let go, and your prayer life will breathe again.
For reflection this week
- How much time did I truly spend with God this week, beyond quick prayers?
- Do I give God space to speak, or do I only bring my list?
- What am I feeding most: my flesh or my spirit?
- Is there anyone I need to forgive before I stand to pray?
A prayer
Father, thank You that prayer is an invitation into relationship with You. Forgive me for the times I have rushed through prayer, prayed without seeking Your will, fed my flesh, and held on to offense. Teach me to wait in Your presence. Give me discernment to know Your will. Help me to sow to the Spirit every day. Today I choose to forgive, and I release every bitterness into Your hands. Restore my prayer life and draw me closer to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.